All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
