what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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