You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
