"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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