I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
