Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
