If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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