Church boner. Awkwardddd
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
A+ Viking dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
