dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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