Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
