I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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