I hope mine doesn't look like that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
