Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize