Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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