I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
