well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
