The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i barfeds in our rink
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
