I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
