Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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