So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
