Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
