Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
