Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
