god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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