He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
