So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
