and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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