Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
