ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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