I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize