I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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