So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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