We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
