i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
