I'm really into asian looking animals
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
