I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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