i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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