so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
