I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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