I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
