If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
