Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
