Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
