i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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