Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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