I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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