tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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