Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
