apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
