well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
