I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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