Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
