you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
