well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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