you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
