She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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