SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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