spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
