very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
