went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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