so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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